Transparent

Am I really so transparent
That you can't even see me standing here
Is it really that easy to forget about
The fact I've been in front of you for years

Am I really so transparent
That you could never care about how I felt
Do you honestly believe it never messed me up
All the times you lied and you hit, I won't forget it

Am I really so transparent
That if I left, you'd never even notice
Would you even notice anything diff erent
I'm tired of the same shit every day

Am I really so transparent
That you could never be proud of me,
For just one single moment
Is it really that hard for you to see I'm here

Am I really so transparent
That it's basically an only child show
And I'm not that only child
I was forgotten and left on my own

Because apparently, I'm that transparent
Where none of my feelings were ever accounted for
You expected me to do what you wanted
And you expected me to always be here

But without hesitation,
I decide to not be transparent
And if you choose to not care,
It's not going to be on my conscience anymore

I may be so transparent
That you could never see my accomplishments
But I know that I've already done more
Than you all have your entire life

And in that time, I never used people
I saw everyone in my life,
They were not transparent
I know who had what impact on what part of my life

But am I really that transparent
That you forgot you had another child
It's not a spurt of jealousy
It's the trashed feelings inside

Because apparently I'm that transparent
And I never really mattered much
Except for the days you yelled at me
Or the days you said you wanted me dead

I existed quite a bit those days
You know the days when the anger came out on me
And no one else cared because at least it wasn't on them
So I'll live my life wondering so many things in my life

Am I really so transparent,
That not a damn soul could ever love me
Would it really be that hard in life
For someone to notice that I'm somebody...at least to me.