New Years Day 2002 - Doomed (2002-04-24 13:37)

As these dark cold walls close in on me
I'm sitting in a gloomy bathroom
The sounds are laughter but I'm all tears
How is it that noone cares
The four mint green walls
Only seem like there going to fall
My heart slowly stops beating
As I'm left contemplating to end it all
Or to let it be
I just don't know what to do
I sit on the edge of the tub and think
Should I fi ll up the tub and sink
I cry so hard that I cant breath
I try and think why is it happening to me
Why cant the world close down on something else
Why is it left on me to be hated
The hateful words that I was called
Were only to make me think whether or not to end it all
My face is all red as I splash water from the sink on it
I wonder if anyone would care if I sat here and died
My life to me is nothing but one nightmare and lie
I wish I could start all over and be a whole new person
To move away and start again would be all a dream
For me to go and be happy again would never happen
Especially because I've never been happy in my life
How can the world come down so fast
To only show me that my life's not going to last
"Take your life" is all I think as I sit and cry in the floor
No longer am I able to stand up without falling to the ground in tears
I wonder how I am to be what God placed me here to be
If there was a God why is this happening to me?