This is my letter

I guess everything has a meaning
Everything has its own reason
But I really need some help sometimes
To understand why it is I cry

Yet every night when I lie in bed
These thoughts go rushing through my head
And the cold, dark tears freeze over my skin
But I can't seem to understand why I'm at this point

And this is my letter to the world out there
To let you all know I've faked everyday
And that this is my sincere apology
To those I never treated right

And this right here is my letter
To my dearest family who broke my heart
I can't keep it all together
Because it's now ripping me apart

And every night I cry to sleep
All I ever wanted was a break
Someone else to take my place
Keep it together just one day for me

And this is my letter asking for an answer
I need to know why I can't trust
Or who I really am
I really need to know these things

And this is my letter to my childhood
I do wish I could have lived you
You seem to haunt me everyday
When I realize that I never had it that way

And this is my letter to my brother
Who left me here alone to suff er
You never really understood it
But I needed you more than I ever said

And this is my letter to my mother
Because I don't understand it at all
I don't how you're strong enough
To put up with all of this and stay this long

And this is my letter to my father
Of whom I really wish I could forgive
I really wish this alcoholism
Wouldn't be the only way I remember you

And this is my letter to all of my friends
To thank you for every thing you've said
And even when I die from here
You will always be my best of friends

This is my letter to my heart
I apologize for breaking you like a mirror
And I hope someday I can x you
But I don't know how to at all

Though I could write a million letters
Every day for years to everyone
I will never fi nd the answer
To the questions I must keep hidden

Why did all of this happen
Why did they break in two
If everything has it's reason
Why can't I seem to understand

And this is a letter to the world
Don't ever respond and tell me&
That you know exactly how I feel
Because you don't.